What Could Have Been: Shrunken Stand-Up Comic

 Hello all, and welcome to What Could Have Been. In this feature, I highlight a project that was at one time in development on my end, but for some reason was just tossed aside or given up on. For this one, we go back to the 2019 SizeRiot GentleApril contest. 

For those of you who remember, the contest had a theme of a character being aged 45+, and could be either SFW or NSFW. My eventual entry would be Job Interview, but originally I had a much different vision for the contest.

My idea was a stand-up comic, doing his show while speaking into a microphone bigger than him. The idea was fun and creative. (As far as I know, no one has done something like this. If they have, someone point me towards it in the comments, please!) I spent a night writing out some joke-filled dialogue longhand, as I am wont to do, before going to sleep.

The next morning, looking back on it, I wasn't sure about it at all. For one thing, there was really not a clear story with this, and the formatting was insane on paper. I also wondered if it seemed a bit to niche for the audience of readers. I have since learned that nobody is to particular about what they read here. (Seriously, all of you fellow SizeRiot participants are the best!) But it just never felt like the right time to come back to this.

Since then, I have had other ideas come into my head that I want to write, and this one just kept falling to the wayside. And with my list growing ever longer, plus an actual novella-length project that I hope to tackle this spring/summer, it is really looking like this will never be finished.

So, here it is, or what I have of it anyway. It would probably work better as an actual audio clip, I suppose, so if someone wants to tackle that, feel free. I have also polished it up, trying to actually build a little bit of scenery around the actual dialogue, but it is rough for the most part. Without further adieu, here is some 'Shrunken Stand-Up.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you, a man of lowly stature, but large laughs. Mr. John Little!"

I stood on the small table, the microphone in front of me, looking out at a group of massive shapes. My audience, who I would try to impress.

"So, before you say it, yeah, I'm small. Believe me, I have heard every short joke in the book, and some long ones too!" *slight chuckles

"But I wasn't always like this! I mean, I was once like all of you. I could actually open a door," *laughs "open a beer." *louder laughs and slight applause. "Now, my biggest problem is not being mistaken for a pen." *laughs

"My wife is lovely though, she has taken all of this in stride. She is a saint! I mean, I am essentially an invalid now..."

"...A lot of you probably don't know, that when you end up small like this, your stamina increases considerably. And no, not just in certain areas if you know what I mean." *Laughs "My wife and I have a night each week where we do 'stamina training,' which to put in simple terms...'How much torture can John take before he cries Uncle!' *laughs and applause.

"She will leave out clues on everyday bits of paper. Why, just a week ago, she left the grocery list out on the floor as she left. I went and read it, and got excited. On the list... 2 jugs of milk, 2 melons, a package of chicken breasts, marshmallows, some peaches...and a box of NIPS." *Rising laughter as list continues.

"I was excited, because it sounded like a good bunch of breast play was in the cards for sexy time!" *Whoops and cheers.

"But when you are small like me, and can't work, you lose track of the days..." *Sighs and chuckles from audience. "When she came home, I was all ready to go! I had on my spelunking outfit, and told her I was ready whenever she was... Imagine my surprise, when she told me she had never seen me so excited for stamina training!" *Loud laughs and applause. "I haven't been that sore in a long time! And then, she wondered why I didn't want to be held and nuzzled to her chest later that night." * more laughs.

So that was all I really had on the scraps. I tried to clean it up a bit, but it remains mostly unchanged from the early writing. I'm about 95% sure I will not go back to it, but who knows what the future holds?

What did you think? Is this something I should make an effort to continue? Is this something that should remain lost to the sands of time? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

And until next time, Stay well!!
Meyeel S.